I was reading on the pregnancy site I visit today about things moms wish they had done before they had kids. Some of them made a lot of sense...finish school, spend more time alone with my husband, travel. But I came upon a couple posts towards the bottom of them all that were more in line with what I've been thinking. The basic gist was that doing things with kids is certainly a different experience, but there's no reason why you have to stop being you once you have kids, or doing the things you enjoy. I recognize that most moms are tired all of the time, but is sleeping now going to somehow magically add up the sleep hours so that it doesn't make me quite so tired when I get up multiple times every night? The idea is probably just to enjoy it while you can, because you'll miss it, but I think the lack of sleep is not something I can really do anything about right now. Another woman made the great point that alone time can be accomplished at any time with a sitter (or grandma and grandpa to watch) and I agree. I really liked what this woman had to say:
"I made the foolish mistake of not appreciating the early months enough because I was so tired and wanting just one moment to be “me” instead of “mommy”. I thought it was a forever thing and that life would always be that way… but it changed as she changed and grew. I wish I didnt wish away those early months!!! Treasure them and just think of it as a vacation from your old self. The old self that was a bit spoiled, selfish and stuck in a rut anyways!"
There are things that I don't do now that I'm married that I used to do all the time when I was single, but I don't miss them, because I'm not the same person. I'm a wife, and that is so much more important to me than watching obscure foreign films (something Brian doesn't like), grading papers at home (not that I really enjoyed this to start with, but I have to use my time more wisely at work now), or spending as much as I wanted every month (we have a very ambitious savings goal this year and I think we're going to make it!) My priorities have changed and I'm not the same as I was when I met Brian, and it's definitely for the better. I don't miss the old me...I'm still the same person, but with, in my little opinion, a better perspective, more patience, and a wiser outlook. I can't imagine that this same transition won't happen when our little Bee makes an appearance. We will be better because of this extra person, because we will have to be, for one reason, and because we will WANT to be. That is what sacrifice means, I believe. A change of heart and a change of desire...it will be more important to make the little one happy, comfortable, safe, etc., than to fulfill my own wants that don't take others into consideration.
Just on my mind today. I'd love any feedback, especially from those who have new little ones. Loves to you all!
